Ok, so in an effort to keep you all updated and get my butt blogging more regularly I've decided to institute a Ten On Tuesday! I'll write ten random things I have going on in my life at this point every week. Hey, at least it gives me a once a week post guarantee, right?!

1. The girls were on my last nerve this morning. I can't believe I was actually looking forward to school being out next week! What was I thinking???

2. Jack's speech is sooo much better! So much so that the kid NEVER.SHUTS.UP!   I honestly never thought I'd ever say that about my baby boy, but there you go! He constantly has something to say. He asked me yesterday if he could play the Wii, I told him he could play it later, then of course later the hockey game was on  (go Pen's and Wing's!) and the Wii was forgotten about. I told him he could play it tomorrow. Well, lil' man wakes up this morning and was very quick to tell me that I told him "wast day, wet a'morrow I tood pway Wii, and now it's nest day so I tan pway it now, huh?"  (Last day that tomorrow I could play Wii, and now it's next day so I can play it now?) He was sooo much cuter as the handsome silent type ;)

3. It sucks that you can't get anything, and I mean anything past Meg these days. The kid can spell and read everything. No more little white momma lies. She will also rat you out in a heartbeat so trying to tell those little white momma lies to Jack are out if Meg is around too.

4. Hannah is getting boobs and must wear a bra at all times now. Where did my baby girl go? She is sooo beautiful it makes me sick!  She wants to model, I've decided to take her to an open casting that a local agency does monthly. If she gets something out of it great, if not, she tried. They pay for the head shots and do all of the work and only take 15% of your job fee, not bad. 

5. Meg also wants to model. Not so sure about it but I guess I can let her give it a shot too. It's not like it costs me anything but time and I can say no to any jobs that I don't want to take them to or allow them to advertise for.

6. Jack is 4 now, I can't believe it still. I want another baby so badly that it isn't even funny. Every time I go to the Dr. or have any tests done they ask if I'm pregnant. It kills me to say no. It also kills me that I can't ever have another. To make that decision and feel done and good about it is one thing, to have that decision taken from you is completely another thing. I know I have it better than some and I have no room to bitch, I have 3 healthy children, blah blah blah. I know, I know. I don't know why I don't feel done. I don't know why I feel like someone is missing from my family.

7. It's completely official now and my mom and step-dad won't be moving here. My step-dad won't be working with Mike. Mike's boss has decided to hire from within the company as opposed to hiring Brad.  I'm very upset about it. It's damn hard living so far from everyone in my family.

8. I do think I'm depressed but adding in one more drug to my daily fist full has me more depressed to even think about.

9. My mouth still hurts from having those two teeth pulled last week. It's also annoying to feel the stitches. I can't wait until I can eat something a little more hearty than macaroni and cheese.

10. My mom is coming down on Sunday and I have appt's for each kid to go to the pediatrician, the eye doctor, and the dentist before our deductible starts up again on June 30th! It's going to be one busy week! She wants us to go back to Michigan with her on the 14th but I just am unsure. I hate for Mike to be alone again on Father's Day. Jack has never, ever, spent a Father's Day with his dad. I also don't think that with all of the kids appt's in that week that I can fit in all of my appt's also. I think I need at least until the the following Wed. to get all of my testing and Dr appts in so I can enjoy some of my summer with my family in Michigan. Sometimes I hate my life and resent Mike for this. <--- I think that is part of my depression problem. 

WHOO HOOO I made it to Ten! Proud of me?

Crazy momma~Out

Because I have too much time on my hands apparently! But, will someone PLEASE explain to me where are Max and Ruby's parents? If grandma is around and bunny scout leader pops in why does it not tell you where their parents are? These kids do way too many dangerous things without parents around, for example; Riding the bus downtown ... alone; Using the oven to bake cakes; Playing in a pool. Where is the adult supervision people? Why does this bother me so? Sadly it's one of Jack's favorite all time shows.

Speaking of adult supervision, Hannah is getting her fill right now. Apparently after school last Friday a kid from her class dared another kid to shoot spit balls at her. Well, instead of telling someone Hannah decided to swear at the kid doing the daring and also kicked her. She is now staying after school every day until the end of the month in the office until everyone clears out before she can walk home. She has also lost her TV, computer, and playing with friends privileges for the same amount of time. On one hand she stuck up for herself, on the other it was WAY out of line and against everything she has ever been taught. I can see yelling at the kid but to kick and swear? Where did this come from? What am I doing wrong? How have I gone wrong here? I know things are hard on all of the kids between moving here and me being so sick but I'm still the same person and they are still being raised the same way. I feel like I'm failing as a parent lately,  I can't do half of the stuff we used to do together. 

Lil' man has his 4th birthday this Sunday. I have yet to order the cake, I should have ordered cookies for him to take to school tomorrow to share with is friends but I forgot to do that too. I've been up to my eyeballs in Dr. appts and blood work appts. but it's still no excuse. I've been lazy.  I'll have to make cookies to send in instead. I'm still trying to figure out where the time went, how is it possible that he is 4 already? We had his IEP meeting last week and he just barley qualifies for services now YAY! He still needs speech and if it wasn't for him still not being potty trained he wouldn't have qualified at all. Time to find a typically developing pre-school for the fall! The sensory issues? GONE! The only thing still lingering as far as an autistic finding would be that he has no concept of danger which is NOT good and we are working on it but he has progressed so much in the last year that I'm very glad I never had him formally diagnosed when the Dr's wanted me to. This won't follow him and they anticipate him not needing even speech services once he starts kindergarten! There will be NO labels to follow him throughout his school career. 

Meg is plugging along as normal. The kid is still a genius and despite being the youngest kid in first grade she is one of the top 4 in testing and grades. She is still reading at a hugely advanced level, she reads at a 5th grade level which is as high as they test in this school. Not much to really say about her right now, she's not getting into trouble she seems to have adjusted really well to the move and has many many friends. Meg is really good at making friends though, she is such a social butterfly. 

Mike "forgot" his Dr appt once again. He was supposed to go yesterday afternoon and that was rescheduled from the appt he "forgot" last week. He's on blood pressure meds because of how high it was at the RA's office and he has yet to go to the primary care Dr to have meds adjusted for it and to get his final referral to the Gastro doc that will eventually do the lap-band surgery. I'm furious with him. He has been extremely lazy about a lot of things lately. 

I miss my mom, I really wish she was living down here sigh.

Bought a treadmill at the neighborhood garage sales today! The Dr suggested it months ago for me to get my body in shape and to help protect my joints from the damage RA can cause. I'm hoping it helps me lose this extra weight too. I'm on a mission to lose it before my cousin's wedding in July. I figure I started at 105lbs in November and I now weigh 139lbs. I want to weigh 110 which is perfect for my height. I plan on starting by doing 15 minutes twice a day and working my way up to 30 minutes twice a day by the end of next weekend. As long as I can stay relatively healthy I should be able to achieve this goal, right? 

I also want to start participating in the HNT that my friend Elisa does here and the Friday 5, like she does here . I'm inspired by Elisa and a few other friends to start blogging at least 4 times a week. I think I can keep up, I know it'll be a lot of stories about the kids and the crazy hectic life we're living now but it'll be good therapy and I'll have a journal of the cool and fun things my kids do, as well as the insane and totally whacked out stuff that they can get into. I most definitely want to keep track of my weight loss and fitness goals. Getting healthy is a HUGE priority right now in my life, since we've moved here to the 'burgh from Cleveland I've been sick. I've been in the hospital inpatient 3 times and I see more Dr's and go for more testing than most 70 yr olds! Mr. F is also on a mission to lose the weight and get healthy and is supposed to be going to his primary Dr to get the final referral for the Dr that will do his lap-band surgery sometime in the next couple of months. He needs the help from the lap-band, no way could he lose the weight without it. He has trouble exercising to help with his loss because his knees and hips are almost bone on bone and his gout is out of control, all things that would get better for him if he lost the weight but prohibit him from doing the work to lose the weight. It's a truly vicious cycle for him and I know it's depressing him even further. 

So, if you choose to read it'll be the chronicles of a goofy and fun chick, living life as a stay at home mom with 3 crazy kids, who needs to lose weight, and has a fantastic husband that treats her like gold (but can still be irritating and who also needs to lose weight and get healthy). Sounds fun, no? :o)

I'm home, and I've (obviously) finished "The Book". I won't post anything about it on here though out of respect for my buddies that haven't read it or finished it yet, although I'm dying to discuss it with someone! I went to Barnes and Noble at 5:45 pm on Friday to get my bracelet and I got in group A! I was #17 to get my book out of what they estimated 350 people who pre ordered and at least 75 who didn't and were hoping for leftovers! The kids had a great time at the party, we went back to the book store at 9:30 to enjoy the festivities, we didn't stay from the 5:45 time! LOL! I stayed up until 3 am reading and then had to go to sleep. I had a party at my aunts house for summer birthday's on Saturday plus I had to drive  back here alone. Yep, I said alone. 

I had no choice but to leave my kids with my mom again. I need to pack up this house, finish the last of the painting and list it, find a new place to live in the Pittsburgh area and register the kids in school there. No way could I do all of that while I have 3 kids underfoot. My mission today is boxes and this evening to box up my fine china I inherited from both of my grandmothers. I have special rubber maid bins for those so nothing breaks. Anything that doesn't need to be used will be pack sometime this week and then Mike and I head to Pittsburgh on the 29th to start looking and so he can be there for the inspection. We'll be back here on August 1st and should be able to list the house then. There are a few things we need to do but don't currently have the money to do so those will either be in with an agreement or will be done while it's listed. Since we will make money on this house no matter what I'm not too fussed to be honest. I just want things to go smoothly for the kids, I have decided that everything else will fall into place but my NO. 1 priority is making sure they are ok and settled. It's killing me leaving them again. I miss them sooo much. If you could have seen them when I showed up at my moms house last time ... I was an emotional mess and they were SO excited and happy to have me there! They were all very clingy but I didn't mind in the least, I was sucking in all of that love and all of those hugs and kisses like someone walking out of a desert would drink up water.

I have missed chatting with all of you and please know that none of you have been far from my thoughts. I did try to keep up on blogs while at my moms house.

Oh, about my Aunt Marj's funeral... it was all so fast. My Uncle Don (her husband) got into town on Sunday and went to mass at our church on Sunday evening, spoke to Father Tom and had a meeting with him and the funeral home on Monday morning. I got a call at 2 pm that the viewing was THAT night from 4-8 pm and then the next day from 1-8 pm and funeral on Wednesday at 1 pm. I got my cousin to babysit and took my grandmother to one of the last of her siblings viewings, I didn't get to go on Tuesday but I managed, at the last minute, to get the same cousin to babysit for me so I could go to the final viewing and mass on Wednesday. Surprise of all surprises my mom showed up 20 minutes prior to the viewing and mass! They hauled butt to get home in time so she could go. The weird thing about the whole ordeal is that all of Marj and Don's kids except for one are in various states across the country, it barely gave them time to get in to town for the funeral. They were all there of course but some didn't get in until an hour prior to the close of viewing Tuesday night and one of their children didn't get into town until Wed. Morning! The mass was beautiful and considering the priest didn't know them (although in Michigan it was their home parish and they were the first ever couple married there a little over 60 yrs ago) he did a fabulous job. He basically spoke in his homily how the "til death do us part" of the marriage vows are not true, that even in death you never part, the person is part of you and part of who you are and always will be with you. It was very nice and I think very appropriate for the situation. My aunt Marj and Uncle Don had a great love story, the things they write about in books  or in movies,but some of us never are lucky enough to glimpse in life, and very few of us are actually lucky enough to live it. I'm glad I got to know them as well as I did and to know how a true marriage should be through them and my grandparents, real love and soul mates do exist. 

I guess that's all for now, I'm waiting for a local store to cal me back about boxes, they were supposed to get a shipment in today so they are saving them for me.

Lots of loves!

Jeni